I can't believe it's taken me 2 weeks to finally sit down and write Isabelle's birth story, but i would hate to forget the little memories that so easily slip our minds in the weeks to follow a child's birth. I had the WORST nerves regarding this birth for several reasons. I had EXTREMELY high expectations with Noah's birth and just like everyone told me, everything flew out the window when it actually came down to it. The only thing i can say is that i was thankful Noah's birth didn't result in a c-section. Not that having a c-section is bad or wrong, but for me i was deathly afraid of any type of intervention more than the actual birthing itself. It wasn't until ALL the complications came with having Noah that i realized i SHOULD HAVE had a c-section and am thankful i survived that birth. He was too big for me and for my first child it was an AWFUL experience.
So going into this birth i didn't want to get my hopes up. I still had this vision of what i wanted to experience and to be honest with you i prayed for that. A long time ago someone told me that there is NOTHING we can't ask God for. Doesn't matter how ridiculous or trivial, it never hurts to ask God. He knows our hearts and thoughts and sometimes all He's waiting for us to do is take the time to sit down and simply talk to Him. I remembered that when i first found out i was expecting and i remember asking God for something most people would be embarrassed to pray for. I asked for a little girl. My whole life all i wanted was a son, and i never really thought about how my life would be if i had all boys or all girls, and it wasn't until someone told me i would NEVER have a daughter that it got me thinking. I wanted to experience having a little girl and after that person told me that, i couldn't help but panic and think that i would never get to experience life with a little girl. So what did i do? I asked God, and to this day i know he answered my prayer.
SO anyways, here i am getting off target, back to the birth story. So there were many nights i would lay awake and ask God for the birth i wanted with Noah. I wanted a fast labor, i wanted to do it naturally, i wanted to experience it all. I wanted to hold my baby after, for as long as i wanted, without having her whisked away to the nursery, and i wanted to nurse her right away. Like i said, i didn't get my hopes up because i knew that with childbirth ANYTHING can happen and after my first experience i was expecting the WORSE to happen.
George and I got to the hospital at 7am on Monday November 8th. I was SO nervous as usual, and hardly slept the night before. I got changed in my gown as the nurse started setting everything up for my IV. She got me comfortable with all the monitors and IV, and then called my doctor. He told her he would be in at 7:30 am to break my water and i immediately started to cry. George of course was laughing and asking why i was crying; i guess it just hit me that this was really happening. Like i said before, i couldn't help but think and compare my 1st experience to everything that was happening this day. I remembered when my doctor had broken my water with Noah, that was when the painful contractions started that i couldn't bear, and everything was such a blur after that point. I guess i felt like the same thing was going to happen and that's why i started to cry.
The doctor came in, he broke my water, which wasn't a gush that i had with Noah, but a slow trickle that would last throughout my labor. So already things were going differently. The nurse kept asking me if i needed any pain meds as my contractions picked up and became a regular 3 minutes apart. The contractions weren't bothering me at all, and i told her i was fine. George and I joked and talked and i even texted my mom around 8:30 am and told her i thought it would be awhile till Belle was born. About an hour later around 9:30 am the contractions got a little stronger so i asked for my ipod and retreated into my happy place in my mind. I thought about running, i thought about my grandpa who passed away last year, and my cousin Lucy who passed away this August. The contractions were bearable and as long as i kept breathing through them i felt like i could definitely have a natural birth. About 30 minutes later around 10 am is when they became REALLY uncomfortable.
I asked the nurse to check me to see how far along i had progressed because my whole idea was that if i was close to a 10 (maybe a 7) then i would just get through the pain someway somehow, but if i was barely a 5 then i would probably need an epidural because i didn't know if i could last hours with this pain. She called my doctor, got his permission to check me, my doctor is amazing by the way and VERY particular about nurses checking his patients. After she checked me she told me i was about a 4 or 5 and that's when i asked for the epidural. I was disappointed that after those few hours of contractions, i hadn't progressed more! She called the anesthesiologist and said it would be about 30 min till he got there. This was around 10 am and my parents had just gotten there. I had pretty much curled up in a ball with my eyes closed and tears falling down my face. I couldn't talk, and just wanted to be left alone to get through each contraction that kept coming stronger and stronger. I remember my mom coming in and rubbing my back. I didn't want anyone touching me, and then i saw Noah. To be honest, i didn't want him in there and my parents had him kiss me and took him out. I was just in too much pain. My dad came in and kissed my cheek and then the anesthesiologist showed up so everyone including George had to leave.
The nurse propped me up on the bed and anesthesiologist told me it would take about 30 minutes for him to do the whole epidural. This was around 10:30 am. If it wasn't for the painful contractions i would have been a HUGE mess over this epidural. My epidural with Noah was one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me. It resulted in me having a spinal headache due to the anesthesiologist hitting my spinal fluid. I eventually had to go back to the hospital so they could go into my spine and put a blood patch on the leaking hole. It was a DISASTER and this time around i was MORE scared of getting an epidural than giving birth. Luckily, i got an amazing anesthesiologist who understood my fear and talked me through everything.
All i remember from this was having a pillow in my lap as i leaned forward and kept biting down on it from the pain of the contractions. They were SO powerful i couldn't even think, i could barely talk. I remember when he said he was putting the catheter into my spine i felt some nerves shoot down my right leg and then that was it. I thought that was weird and remember thinking that is probably where the medicine is going to go. He finished my epidural at 10:50 am and told me it would be about 30 to 45 minutes till it fully kicked in. He laid me down and brought George back in. This was about the time the commotion started.
As soon as they laid me down the contractions were coming so strong i was pretty much going crazy. i kept asking the nurse, "When is this going to stop!!!" I was moving my legs and head around just trying to escape the pain. NOTHING could get rid of it. During this time the nurse put on her little head covering and mask and started setting all the delivery tools out on the table. i knew EXACTLY what this meant, but was SO confused because she hadn't even checked me, and an hour ago when she did i was only a 4 to 5. Her eyes caught mine and all she said was, "I have a feeling." Two of the most painful contractions went by and suddenly i looked at George and said, "I have to push." The nurse was to my right, by the phone, and shouted, "Do not push!" But i couldn't help it. I started moaning and i think she knew what was happening. I heard her on the phone with my doctor saying, "She has to push," she set the phone down, ran over to me, lifted the sheet, checked me, ran back to the phone and all i heard again was, "Her cervix is gone, the baby is coming." At this point i don't remember this, but George said she opened the door to my room and shouted to the nurses station, "I need help!"
As she came back she told me to pant through the contractions and NOT to push, she said, "You don't want to have this baby without Dr. McDonough here!" I cant put into words what i felt, all i know is that i was making noises that i had never made. Somewhere between all that i told her i had to puke and she looked at George and said, "It's from all the pain. It's her body's way of dealing with the pain." LUCKILY i didn't puke. George said it was about 2 minutes after she called my doctor that he came walking in dressed in scrubs and ready to go. He peaked under my sheet and i heard someone say, "There's the head!" The nurse grabbed the iodine to put on me and the doctor said, "Just dump it!" I remember the cold sensation hurting and pretty soon he was asking me to push. My very first push i was pretty sure it was the head i felt coming out, but kept thinking to myself there is NO WAY this is happening, there is NO WAY that is the baby this soon.
I pushed with Noah for 2 and a half hours, and this time during my first push i could hear George saying "there she is! there she is!" The pain was unbearable and i stopped pushing while her head was coming out because I considered trying to bring her back in because of the pain. Something inside of me said no, the faster you get her out the faster this pain will stop. The second push i gave, her head was out. The doctor said, one more small push Brooke, i gave one small one, opened my eyes and he was holding her right in front of me. At 11:15 am, 25 minutes after getting my epidural that didn't have time to catch up with me, and only 3 pushes, i gave birth to Isabelle Morgan Merritt.
George went over to the nurses who cleaned Belle off and took some pictures while the doctor took care of me. My nurse also hurried and took my epidural out because she didn't want it to kick in and then i would be numb AFTER my baby was born. The doctor said i had no tears and would heal perfectly fine. I was still in shock from how fast and amazing that all was and how much EASIER it was then with Noah. With Noah i had an episiotomy and stitches which made recovery unbearable, on top of other complications from pushing for so long. This time around it was like my body just knew what to do and went RIGHT back to normal after. The nurses brought Belle to me and told me i could hold her as long as i wanted and nurse her. My parents came in and so did Noah, and it was so nice to just have her in my arms. It's amazing how all that pain immediately goes away when you hold that baby and all i kept thinking was how amazing that whole experience was and how my birth wasn't perfect, but it was exactly what i had wanted with Noah.
I feel SO blessed to have 2 healthy happy children. Belle has been such an angel and Noah loves her so much already. Our friends and family have been so great and showered us with so many kind words. George and I couldn't be happier.
Breathing through a contraction. I didn't even know George took this picture.
One of the happiest days of my life. Isabelle Morgan Merritt 7 lbs 6 oz, 20 in long
