They've decided to retire.

I spoke too soon like i knew i would. I swore i would run my whole pregnancy and i really did put up a tireless effort. You don't realize how many things you SWEAR you're going to do when you're pregnant and the second the line turns blue and the aches and pains set in you throw in the towel. Well i didn't throw in the towel until now at exactly 7 mos pregnant. I ran the LA Marathon while i was 2 mos pregnant although i hate to even say i even ran it. My time was HORRIBLE and at this point i'm just glad i made it because the sharp pains i had in my lower abdomen would have been enough to scare anyone to stop. But i made it, took a month off, checked in with my doctor that it would be ok to continue running, and then i continued. But at 3 mos pregnant i had to use some very tricky methods in order to get me in those running shoes. All i wanted to do was lay on my couch and eat Top Ramen like i did my whole pregnancy with Noah. So the first thing i did was make a STRICT schedule on when i would run. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday's worked best for my schedule so i literally had to co-erce and make myself go those days. And i did. I have to say i did not miss a beat! And I always felt like a million bucks when i would finish a 30 minute run. I didn't even set mile goals for myself anymore, i told myself 30 min of running and that is it. So whether that amounted to a little over 3 miles or 2.5 depended on what type of day i was having and whether or not Belle wanted to cooperate with me.

So how come now that my running shoes have retired and my body has told me enough is enough do i want to run more than i have ever in my life? Probably because when i started running 2 years ago there was a distinct reason that has stayed with me today. Alot of people don't know why i started running, but i can remember the day like it was yesterday. Noah was 3 mos old and i was sad. Very sad. I spent my days crying all day and i didn't know what was wrong with me?! I was trying to adjust to this new life as a stay at home mom, and after 3 years of being on the go and working in the Air Force it was a big adjustment. Suddenly i started thinking maybe this is what people called post-partum depression. I never once had a bad thought towards my baby, if anything he would make me stop crying when i would see his precious face, but i just had this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I remembered one of my good friends telling me how she was a runner and practically ran everyday. I figured i needed to get out of the house and i really wanted to start exercising again so what a perfect opportunity. I called her up, asked when her next run was, and vowed to meet her there. I can still remember that run as clearly as i am typing. It was at the good ol Savannah Rapids, next to the river, and i told her i didn't think i could go far, but i ran 2 miles that day. I cant describe the feeling i felt all i know is i had to come again. And again, and again. By the end of the week i was on 3 miles and i will never forget as we were doing our cool off walk my friend looking at me and telling me that she could already see a difference in me. That meant the world to me because i felt like a whole new person. After that day i couldn't stop. There was the Georgia marathon, and then the LA marathon, and here i sit 7 mos pregnant dreaming of day when i can race again once this baby is born.

So i've come to realize that i am an emotional runner. I run when i'm sad, when i'm mad, stressed, overwhelmed, you name it. Its a place i can escape to and the miles keep going by and all my thoughts can rearrange themselves. Another run i can remember clear as day was probably about 10 mos ago when i found out my cousin Lucy was about to start chemo treatments. The sadness i felt couldn't be expressed as i laced up my shoes and headed out. Tears fell down my face that entire run. And here i sit wondering how that was just a short 10 mos ago and now my cousin is dead. The pain and sadness makes me want to do one thing, but its something my body wont let me do right now. I want to run. The last 7 mos i've had to manipulate and lie to my body to get those shoes on and right now all i want to do is escape to my running place.

My cousin Lucy was such a beautiful person and i could go on for days on what an amazing mother she was, but all i know is that God wanted her home with Him. So thats where she is at, and i cant wait for the day when i can head out again on my familiar paths because i know now that i will have a guardian angel looking over me. I will no longer be alone with just my thoughts, but she will be there with me also. So maybe my running shoes aren't retiring, but rather taking a leave of absence. They will be back and so will i.

Fall=winding down or starting up?

Every year around this time i feel like a deep breath in is needed as the summer comes to an end and everything winds down. But theolder i get, and more kids i pop out, i realize that the summer IS me winding down for what is yet to come in the fall. Fall semester has officially started for me and i am in my first block of classes in my education program. Not only am i taking my very first FULL load, ever, i also have to do 120 hours in a classroom outside my school work. I'm looking forward to the challenge and the strange looks i have gotten from all my professors when they see my 7 month belly hasn't deterred me!

Noah is talking more and more everyday and George and i just LOVE it. He has also started potty training :/ I have officially refused to change, or put diapers on him while he is at home, so he has basically started his very own nudist colony here with Chloe. He goes easily in the potty at school because he sees the other kids, but here at home he has been very weary. Today was day 3 of no diapers and for the first time he went in his potty. Of course i danced for him and offered him some fruit snacks so i'm hoping he'll start catching on better before Belle makes her grand entrance and then that will mean double diaper duty if he hasn't caught on by then.

I am going to need EXTRA discipline when i am at home and supposed to be studying because not only do i need to maintain my 3.0 gpa but my mind is constantly wandering to the fact that we're still not done with the nursery! Belle will be here in a little less than 3 mos and me being the systematic person that i am, i do not want to dive full force into finishing her room until Noah's is completely done. All we have left are some wall prints to hang and install his ceiling fan, but the ideas keep turning in my head. Do i want to just go the easy way out and buy some cute, fun art or prints or do i want to indulge in my inner Martha and make and or create my own? I think i'm leaning towards the latter.

Here are a few pics of what his room looked like when we first moved into our home last winter.

Here was the beginning of the big boy transformation. Besides moving the crib into the nursery, i was SO excited to find Noah this train table for his room on Craigslist for $50! And it came with the train which has many more pieces than what you see here.

Our little fam took an ikea trip about a month ago to stock up on some big boy items for Noah's room. As you can see, he left the decisions on what will go in his room up to us.

Here is the beginning. We've painted since and i've hung up a few things but you can slowly start to see a lil man room emerge!

Here is my inspiration right now. Noah has a ton of alphabet cards and i found this picture online and i am debating whether or not i want to re-create it somewhere in his room. Will keep you posted on what i decide!

And here is how Belle's room has been left. Until Noah's room is done i am swearing off of it. It shouldn't be but a few weeks and then i can start on all the fun projects i have for this one!

Will post Noah's big boy room fully done hopefully next weekend! :)