Bah Humbug!

That is EXACTLY how i have felt this holiday season. After Belle's birth everything seemed to be off to a great start so i really dont know where it all fell apart. I think it might have started with Noah's difficult behavior due to all the changes. So many people have asked how he is adjusting and if he is having a hard time with the new baby, and i really cant say whether or not his behavior is linked to Belle. His behavior started a few weeks BEFORE i had belle, and it could just be your typical 2 1/2 year old "i want to be in charge" phase, but it is EXHAUSTING. You tell him "no", he smiles and will do whatever it is again, you ask him to do something, he deliberately does not do it. So it's pretty much been a 12 to 14 hour day of constantly staying on him because Lord knows we dont want to lose the reins as parents right now. He'll be walking all over us by the time he's 16!

George and I both have made a point to give Noah and overabundance of attention because the first thing we heard was that he would be jealous of the attention Belle gets. Well maybe it was too much, because now i feel bad for not spending as much time with Belle. My time now has to be divided in so many directions and it just gets SO exhausting. Even if i'm lucky enough to get 6 hours of sleep, which is rare, i'm still so worn down. I do have to say that this second time around i am MUCH more patient and trying to enjoy it all as much as i can. I know a year will go by in a blink and Belle will sleeping in her own room all night, Noah will be even more independent, and i will long for a little baby in my arms again; but until then i want to have the freedom to be a scrooge!

Christmas has come up SO DANG fast that i feel like i havent even been able to enjoy this season, much less the holiday coffees at Starbucks! I want to push a pause button for a second, take a long shower, decorate the way i want instead of throwing everything out, and cuddle with my love to watch some Christmas movies. But this season i'm lucky if i even get out of my pajamas and i even did ALL my shopping online. How boring huh? Basically what i'm trying to say is life with 2 little ones close in age is BUSY and i just dont have time to pencil Christmas in this year!!

I just wanted to let everyone know i am alive (barely), and i will be amazed if i actually pull off Christmas dinner this year. With 2011 right around the corner there is so much to look forward to, but so much more to be thankful for. Hopefully i will be back to my old self in no time flat, Lord knows i miss running and the pile of projects i have for the house just keeps getting bigger. Here's to a new year and all it has to offer. At this point, nothing surprises me and i am just hanging on for the ride!

Merry Christmas!