They've decided to retire.

I spoke too soon like i knew i would. I swore i would run my whole pregnancy and i really did put up a tireless effort. You don't realize how many things you SWEAR you're going to do when you're pregnant and the second the line turns blue and the aches and pains set in you throw in the towel. Well i didn't throw in the towel until now at exactly 7 mos pregnant. I ran the LA Marathon while i was 2 mos pregnant although i hate to even say i even ran it. My time was HORRIBLE and at this point i'm just glad i made it because the sharp pains i had in my lower abdomen would have been enough to scare anyone to stop. But i made it, took a month off, checked in with my doctor that it would be ok to continue running, and then i continued. But at 3 mos pregnant i had to use some very tricky methods in order to get me in those running shoes. All i wanted to do was lay on my couch and eat Top Ramen like i did my whole pregnancy with Noah. So the first thing i did was make a STRICT schedule on when i would run. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday's worked best for my schedule so i literally had to co-erce and make myself go those days. And i did. I have to say i did not miss a beat! And I always felt like a million bucks when i would finish a 30 minute run. I didn't even set mile goals for myself anymore, i told myself 30 min of running and that is it. So whether that amounted to a little over 3 miles or 2.5 depended on what type of day i was having and whether or not Belle wanted to cooperate with me.

So how come now that my running shoes have retired and my body has told me enough is enough do i want to run more than i have ever in my life? Probably because when i started running 2 years ago there was a distinct reason that has stayed with me today. Alot of people don't know why i started running, but i can remember the day like it was yesterday. Noah was 3 mos old and i was sad. Very sad. I spent my days crying all day and i didn't know what was wrong with me?! I was trying to adjust to this new life as a stay at home mom, and after 3 years of being on the go and working in the Air Force it was a big adjustment. Suddenly i started thinking maybe this is what people called post-partum depression. I never once had a bad thought towards my baby, if anything he would make me stop crying when i would see his precious face, but i just had this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I remembered one of my good friends telling me how she was a runner and practically ran everyday. I figured i needed to get out of the house and i really wanted to start exercising again so what a perfect opportunity. I called her up, asked when her next run was, and vowed to meet her there. I can still remember that run as clearly as i am typing. It was at the good ol Savannah Rapids, next to the river, and i told her i didn't think i could go far, but i ran 2 miles that day. I cant describe the feeling i felt all i know is i had to come again. And again, and again. By the end of the week i was on 3 miles and i will never forget as we were doing our cool off walk my friend looking at me and telling me that she could already see a difference in me. That meant the world to me because i felt like a whole new person. After that day i couldn't stop. There was the Georgia marathon, and then the LA marathon, and here i sit 7 mos pregnant dreaming of day when i can race again once this baby is born.

So i've come to realize that i am an emotional runner. I run when i'm sad, when i'm mad, stressed, overwhelmed, you name it. Its a place i can escape to and the miles keep going by and all my thoughts can rearrange themselves. Another run i can remember clear as day was probably about 10 mos ago when i found out my cousin Lucy was about to start chemo treatments. The sadness i felt couldn't be expressed as i laced up my shoes and headed out. Tears fell down my face that entire run. And here i sit wondering how that was just a short 10 mos ago and now my cousin is dead. The pain and sadness makes me want to do one thing, but its something my body wont let me do right now. I want to run. The last 7 mos i've had to manipulate and lie to my body to get those shoes on and right now all i want to do is escape to my running place.

My cousin Lucy was such a beautiful person and i could go on for days on what an amazing mother she was, but all i know is that God wanted her home with Him. So thats where she is at, and i cant wait for the day when i can head out again on my familiar paths because i know now that i will have a guardian angel looking over me. I will no longer be alone with just my thoughts, but she will be there with me also. So maybe my running shoes aren't retiring, but rather taking a leave of absence. They will be back and so will i.

Fall=winding down or starting up?

Every year around this time i feel like a deep breath in is needed as the summer comes to an end and everything winds down. But theolder i get, and more kids i pop out, i realize that the summer IS me winding down for what is yet to come in the fall. Fall semester has officially started for me and i am in my first block of classes in my education program. Not only am i taking my very first FULL load, ever, i also have to do 120 hours in a classroom outside my school work. I'm looking forward to the challenge and the strange looks i have gotten from all my professors when they see my 7 month belly hasn't deterred me!

Noah is talking more and more everyday and George and i just LOVE it. He has also started potty training :/ I have officially refused to change, or put diapers on him while he is at home, so he has basically started his very own nudist colony here with Chloe. He goes easily in the potty at school because he sees the other kids, but here at home he has been very weary. Today was day 3 of no diapers and for the first time he went in his potty. Of course i danced for him and offered him some fruit snacks so i'm hoping he'll start catching on better before Belle makes her grand entrance and then that will mean double diaper duty if he hasn't caught on by then.

I am going to need EXTRA discipline when i am at home and supposed to be studying because not only do i need to maintain my 3.0 gpa but my mind is constantly wandering to the fact that we're still not done with the nursery! Belle will be here in a little less than 3 mos and me being the systematic person that i am, i do not want to dive full force into finishing her room until Noah's is completely done. All we have left are some wall prints to hang and install his ceiling fan, but the ideas keep turning in my head. Do i want to just go the easy way out and buy some cute, fun art or prints or do i want to indulge in my inner Martha and make and or create my own? I think i'm leaning towards the latter.

Here are a few pics of what his room looked like when we first moved into our home last winter.

Here was the beginning of the big boy transformation. Besides moving the crib into the nursery, i was SO excited to find Noah this train table for his room on Craigslist for $50! And it came with the train which has many more pieces than what you see here.

Our little fam took an ikea trip about a month ago to stock up on some big boy items for Noah's room. As you can see, he left the decisions on what will go in his room up to us.

Here is the beginning. We've painted since and i've hung up a few things but you can slowly start to see a lil man room emerge!

Here is my inspiration right now. Noah has a ton of alphabet cards and i found this picture online and i am debating whether or not i want to re-create it somewhere in his room. Will keep you posted on what i decide!

And here is how Belle's room has been left. Until Noah's room is done i am swearing off of it. It shouldn't be but a few weeks and then i can start on all the fun projects i have for this one!

Will post Noah's big boy room fully done hopefully next weekend! :)

Sometimes all you need is a power outage

In this day to day life we all get so caught up in what seems like a million different things. With the current condition of my cousin who has cervical cancer my mind has been turning with so many heavy things. The loss of sleep from staring at the ceiling hasn't hit me yet, but i'm sure the tiredness will kick in any day now. When you're faced with something as heavy as dying, you cant help but analyze the cracks and crevices of your own life. I hate the pace i've been running this life lately, and it makes me sit back and think whose pace am i trying to keep up with? There's not a day that goes by that i don't think "There is just not enough hours in the day!"

Well last night God decided to take matters into his own hands. We had an amazing storm, and i say amazing because we don't have storms like that where i'm from in California. The wind was causing branches to fall all over the neighborhood, big ones, the rain was coming down so fast and strong it looked like a wall. And of course, our power went out. George instantly got nervous and started pacing. He was irritated and you could tell just nervous all together that the power MIGHT not be back on soon. I couldn't help but laugh. I found everything humorous. Noah was having the time of his life watching the storm outside and my first thought was "This is going to be SO fun!" No tv, no computer, no lights, maybe we need this. Just me, George, and Noah. Making memories in our new home. It wasn't minutes later that George and i both sat there on our phones getting online and texting our friends when the big picture suddenly became clear. We as adults get too consumed to enjoy the little things in life. Here was a perfect opportunity to have such a good time creating new memories and George and I were already bored!

I watched my son start to use his imagination while playing with his cars and i thought this is EXACTLY what i need during this difficult time in my family. As my cousin's days are numbered i know she would wish she had more electronic free time with her kids. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we making our lives so busy that we cant even enjoy a few hours of silence with just our family. I know i'm guilty. I'm learning so many new lessons everyday from my cousin's story. Life lessons.

I was planning on letting Noah take a bath in mom and dads big ol tub that night because there was more light in our bathroom due to the window, but wouldn't you know, after 3 hours the electricity came back on right in time for bath time. I thought, well if we didn't get to have a candlelit slumber party i can still at least let Noah enjoy our big tub. So with some toys he splashed around and i'm glad we got to end the night enjoying the small things. Next time i hope it wont take a power outage for me and George to slow down and spend some quiet time as a family.

Extreme Nesting, new sport?

So if it's not bad enough to move into a brand newclean slate of a house, why did i have to get pregnant 4 mos later? Last night as i bombarded George with all my ideas for the nursery, and Noah's room and our room and the kitchen he finally said something that hit home. "You overwhelm me, and this nesting thing has got to stop." Well to be honest, i didn't sleep all night. When i did i dreamed of paint swatches and should we get Noah a tall dresser or a short dresser? Should we get one that matches his new bed or go against the matchy matchy rule. When did all this obsessing start??

I'm big on being frugal, we've had to live on nearly nothing for awhile and really stretch our means so now that we live comfortably my frugalness is even more extreme. I don't want to spend a dollar more than i should, so every morning its off to Craigslist for me. On top of that i want detail. That was the second eye opening statement from George last night. "Stop with all the details!" I love character. I love old things that have character and can almost tell you a story. Yes its nice to graze through a Pottery Barn catalogue, but when i comb through Craigslist and find oldvintage pieces with beautiful woodwork i see a diamond in the rough. So this weekend i have learned 3 things about myself:

1. I love detail. And that will never stop. I'm not going to cut myself short by spending too much on a brand new item that does not make me happy. As i dive into Noah and Belle's room i want to work hands on every piece that we plan on bringing in there.

2. I not only overwhelm George, I overwhelm myself.

And 3. It's called Extreme Nesting. Maybe i should talk to my doctor about this.

Next weekend we're taking an Atlanta trip where we plan on picking up a few more items for the nursery and Noah's room. I cant help but draw inspiration by pictures and blogs. Here are a few that have me drooling and the wheels in my head turning.

Alot of these were taken from Ikea, but there are a few that i saved from blogs. I don't remember which ones in particular, i know they are in my blog list so please if they are your pictures let me know so i can add the appropriate link to your blog.

Weekend lovins

This weekend was SO relaxing, and let's just say these were a few of mine and Belle's favorite things:

I think it's safe to say say Belle LOVES the sweets almost as much i do. But this week we will be loving:

At 23 weeks pregnant i have continued running and this pregnancy has been a CAKE WALK compared to my last. I just cut down to 3 miles 2x a week because i've also been taking an hour long yoga class on Monday's, and the whole family has been taking walks in the evening when it cools down. The running has kept me from having any back pain and overall i just don't feel pregnant. I will write more about my pregnancy running journey soon, but until then i hope everyone had a great, sweet, relaxing weekend!

Boy have things changed, or have they?

As is sit here and plan to enter the world of blogging after a much needed break i cant help but scroll down and see the old posts that show me what my life was like last summer. Noah has changed so much it hurts my heart, because in our day to day life i dont always see him growing before my eyes. Last summer we lived somewhere completely different, George was still in the service, and we were no where near adding to our family. Here i sit in a new home, George well adjusted in his new career, me finally starting the teaching program i started out trying to get into 3 years ago, and I'm about to enter my 6th month of pregnancy. Boy have things changed!

But then when i sit back and really take a long look at the picture, i see that some things havent changed. For starters i'm sitting here writing this. I've been writing, although not so good anymore, since i was 14. I'm listening to Coldplay, a favorite band of mine since i was 16, and i went on a run earlier today which we all know i fell in love with running 3 months after Noah was born. Our surroundings may change, we may learn new things, but i treasure the fact that my husband and i have remained the same. I try every year to better myself and i know some people dont appreciate the honesty that has come from me becoming a mother, but after i had Noah i realized there was no time for BS (excuse my french) anymore.

Kids grow like weeds! We hear it everyday. I laid in bed and cried the other night while George was telling me how he remembers rocking Noah to sleep every night and how he knew he was REALLY asleep once the paci started falling out of his mouth. I bawled. The tears wouldnt stop, and i couldnt help but think that that is a time we will never get back. I think that as George and i reflect and watch Noah grow it is going to make us better parents. We will treasure every moment Belle is little. I hear that with your first child you always push or rush them to the next stage, and like everyone else, that is what we did.

i will stop being so sappy, i just couldnt help it after seeing these old pictures of Noah at the rodeo last summer. This summer he shouldnt be so scared of the pony rides and next summer his sister will be able to enjoy the rodeo with him. I leave you with a recent and favorite picture of mine and George's. Noah has gotten so big he's now helping out with chores. Here he is helping Dad wash the car. He stopped and put his little hand out as if he was posing just long enough for me to get the pic. The sun was bright but doesnt he look so precious!

I'm back!

I've been telling George that i really need to get back on this whole blogging bandwagon again. For crying out loud our son is now 2 and we are expecting a little girl this winter!!! Boy have things changed. I will try to start posting more and of course adding more pictures of our ever growing son and the our ever growing family! First things first, re-decorate this blog. What in the world did i do to it last summer? It definitely needs a makeover.